7 simple but naughty ideas to spice up your sex gameAurumie Baubo Nov 20 2019 at 9:51 AM
Getting up at 7 am. Rushing to get ready to catch the 8.03 am local. Swiping your employee card exactly at 9.55 am. Then going through the heaviness of work and responsibilities. To finally only have enough energy to keep one’s legs moving so as to get home and crash out, leaving no room for anything but to prepare for the fast pace of tomorrow. Routine defines one’s life meticulously leaving no room for any decision making. It takes the surprise out. Like the clock, one’s life oscillates monotonously between its various hands – tick-tock-tick-tock, only to keep doing the same thing over and over, every day. And a monotonous life is a recipe for boredom and stress, which can easily translate to a boring sex life also.
Routine can be one of the biggest factors that can contribute to unsatisfying sex life. Imagine, going through the same set of actions every time you have sex? Can it get more predictable and boring? Look at it this way, does a movie with a predictable end excite the mind? Studies indicate that young couples tend to have sex 1-2 times or even more a week. With age and responsibilities, the number tumbles down to a single digit in a week, at times in a month or months even. With stress and anxiety, sex then becomes just something one does, not something that one looks forward to.
In our workplace, our performance is not graded by our mere presence at work. If one has to be successful in one’s career, one must initiate ideas, do innovative things, excite our peers and bosses to new opportunities. In effect, this new thing we end up doing every other day, which is applause seeking, gives us this sense of high and excitement. When we do new things, our brain releases this chemical or neurotransmitter called dopamine which increases our motivation to do more of that thing. Studies indicate that an increase in dopamine levels is linked to an increase in arousal and sexual libido. Conversely, our brain in a state of boredom releases less dopamine.
The key is doing something new or different in the bedroom that can help break the routine. Does it have to be complex? Our lives are difficult enough without having to add more complexity in the bedroom. What one does to spice up one’s sex life has to be a gradual affair, not a shock treatment. Slow and steady can make for a very explosive orgasm for both. But before you hit the web to try and find that new thing to do, you need to set some ground rules.
- Be willing to experiment with ideas without expecting a 100 percent success rate. The idea can be a total flop. But that’s not what is important. The goal is to be together when experimenting. To be on the same wavelength that we are trying something new today. Experimentation with new ideas also means one has to lose one’s inhibitions. Be willing to be open to things, that one may not have considered doing before.
- Seek ideas away from your comfort zone. The goal is to break routine and sizzle things up. To do that new unpredictable thing. The body in anticipation of what’s coming would already be getting into the wet zone.
- Learn not to be judgmental. This can be a major turn off for your partner. If you have a boring sex life, with the snooty look down you might as well kill it. It’s very easy to raise your eyebrow at the idea that says – you want to do this? Or this is so stupid, or silly or so weird or horrible. Invariably calling your partner – stupid, silly, weird and horrible. Expect a total shut down in the bedroom.
- Do not force an idea on your partner. Even when you wish to try something new, it has to be a 50:50 collaboration. There will be hesitation, fear even of the unknown, performance issues for both parties. A man trying or suggesting something new can be just as vulnerable as a woman who does it. It’s important to be aware of the concerns your mate may have.
- Gauge and understand how your partner may respond to your suggestions. The main component of having good sex is not finishing your ice-cream first. But to get your mate into that orgasmic track as you may be on or even not. It’s important to get this angle clear so you don’t over expect things at the very first go. KISS – keeping it simple stupid is a good idea to begin with.
Once you are both on the same page what kind of interesting things can you do with your partner? Lots really.
- Plan a week filled only with foreplay and build the tempo towards actual penetration. You can kiss, caress, touch each other but no more. Find out how cuddling leads to great sex!
- Fulfill your partner’s fantasy. It could be something like wanting to have sex in a public place. All it needs is a little planning.
- Indulge in role-playing. What kind of a person turns your mate on? Can you pretend to be a slutty nurse, a hot teacher, a very sexual stranger your partner met somewhere, a tough police officer? You can accessorize with costumes to add more effects to the role. Try out role-play costumes.
- Add a new move or sex position that you have not tried before. The Indian Kamasutra can be a great guide in finding different sexual positions you can try. To get into the zone, you could begin by reading the Kamasutra together. That could set the balls rolling. Find out easy Kamasutra sex positions you can try tonight.
- Arouse each other by using sex toys and merchandise. Many couples use external devices like vibrators, massagers to increase their sexual excitement. These are like toys but for sex.
- You can also give your partner a warm and relaxing sexual massage with massage oils. These oils are edible and come many flavors like chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Another thing that couples use is edible lingerie and underwear that zooms up the fun factor. One can easily order these online while maintaining one’s privacy. Check out some cool Romantic products you need to have in your sex goodies.
- A fun thing that you can add to your sexual repertoire is sex games. You can play a card game where you answer intimate personal questions about your partner. On getting the right answer you get a card that has romantic and sexual requests which you can redeem from your partner at any time. Isn’t that fun? You can write down these requests together, which can be kinky and naughty. There are Casino games where the chips have unique sexual positions printed on them. If you win the game, you get to redeem the chips. Then there are dice games where one has to do silly things based on where the dice lands on the board. There are many more fun games that you can play. It pays to increase the fun factor in the bedroom as this increases the adrenalin and thus sexual arousal. Needless to say, Laughter is great for sex.
Changing how you play sexually with your mate can help you become more intimate with your partner which then makes great sex happen. Adding new things to your sexual repertoire can bring back that sense of expectation in all aspects of your life. Great sex life isn’t always about giving or getting orgasms but reaching deep down to each other sexual being and letting that part of your partner’s personality exist in harmony with the conscious self. Syncing the two is where your sexual games should lead you to.