Married, But No Sex? Causes and Treatment to save your marriage

Ami Sheth Aug 19 2019 at 7:39 AM

Love, laughter and happily ever after! Is what we have heard about, but is it a myth or reality? Let’s find out…

They met… They fell in love… They married each other… And they lived happily ever after… Think of it, if this happens to you! It is something one can only dream of – wish life was that easy and simple. Let us spare a thought about the married couples around us, who have always lived happily or are living happily with no problems in their life. The number will be far too little, we are not being pessimistic but just a practical thought!

Let us lead you ahead…

Marriage, family, responsibilities, compromises, adjustments… That’s not all that one goes through in the post-marriage phase. And it happens to men and women alike. The thought of living a different life with a new family member and suddenly adjusting your lifestyle with someone is surely scary. Not many know that the first two years of marriage are not just exciting to explore each other, but are crucial and important for the rest of your journey with your life partner and the entire family. Those who are married might know the rough patches they have dealt with to work out their relationships, stand the test of time. Apart from lifestyle and expectation issues, couples also face sexual health issues.

Another serious problem is the hectic life the couples go through. Though many couples enjoy great sex life in the initial years of marriage, they are unable to maintain the same energy later on. Thanks to the stressful life we all go through – targets, deadlines, long working hours, both men and women tend to fall into sexual health issues.

In both cases, it can probably lead to depression, periodic disputes or even lead to divorce or extra-marital affairs. Hence, to help you cope with these sexless marriage issues, we have listed below the common concerns and possible solutions for you to try on:

SEXUAL PROBLEMS IN MEN

1. ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION
It is one of the men’s sexual dysfunctions where men find it difficult to maintain an erection during sexual activity. It can also affect one mentally, as it can be tied to relationship difficulties and self-image.

How To Fix It
Erection spray, cream or gel can help in gradually reducing erectile dysfunction. Along with that, the process can work faster if you can change your diet too rich foods with all the nutrients such as nitrates in leafy greens and beets, flavonoids in dark chocolate, protein in pistachios, antioxidants in watermelon, lycopene in tomatoes and pink grapefruit, zinc in oysters, cranberries, apples, peanuts, onions, tea, red wine and other shellfish for the blood to flow to the penis and which will help it stay erect for a longer time.

2. PREMATURE EJACULATION
It means ejaculating sooner than his partner would like to, during sex. It is also known as rapid ejaculation, premature climax or early ejaculation. PE can be a cause of worry to many as it can make sex less enjoyable and frustrate both the partners. It can also lead to Erectile Dysfunction after a while.

How To Fix It
Delay spray, cream or gel can help in improving your ejaculation process by making you stay longer in bed and enjoy the sex. Along with that, you can also include the foods that are rich in zinc and magnesium that may help in increasing the time it takes you to the climax. E.g. green onion, ashwagandha, garlic, asparagus, ladyfinger, ginger, honey, oysters, pumpkin seeds, soybeans, yogurt, spinach, wheat germ cereals, almonds, kidney beans, chickpeas, sesame seeds, beef, lamb, dark chocolate and peas.

3. DELAYED OR INHIBITED EJACULATION
It is known to be a common medical condition, also known as impaired ejaculation. This condition results when it takes a long time of sexual stimulation for a man to ejaculate. Well, in some cases, ejaculation cannot be achieved at all.

How To Fix It
Arousal oil helps in making one feel warm. You can use it over your body or intimate parts as a massager and feel the pleasure.

4. LOW LIBIDO
Libido is a person’s overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity. It is influenced by biological, psychological, physical and social factors. Men with low levels of testosterone (androgen deficiency) can have problems with low libido. While Physical issues that cause low libido, include low testosterone, prescription medicines, too little or too much exercise, alcohol, and drugs, whereas psychological issues include depression, stress, and problems in your relationship. Social factors like facts and experiences that influence individuals’ personality, attitudes, and lifestyle.

How To Fix It
Supplements help in gaining stamina that you have lost in your body. Apart from that, one must also eat healthy food, avoid fast foods, drink plenty of water and sleep for a maximum of 8 hours each day.

 

SEXUAL PROBLEMS IN WOMEN

1. TIGHT AND LOOSE VAGINA
A woman’s vagina experiences many changes throughout her life. It can be due to hormonal changes or fluctuations, not being fully aroused, illness, stress, sex, pregnancy, and childbirth.

How To Fix It
Women with a tight or loose vagina should go for pelvic floor exercises, which is called a Kegel exercise. To perform a Kegel, tighten the same muscles that can stop the flow of urine midstream. Hold the muscles for a set length of time before releasing and then repeat. One must perform Kegel exercises throughout the day. Doing this daily will help you improve and maintain your pelvic floor strength.

2. PAINFUL INTERCOURSE
Many women go through painful intercourse or avoid it by staying in fear of hurting themselves during the process. The medical term for painful intercourse is known as dyspareunia which means genital pain that occurs before, during or after the intercourse.

How To Fix It
For painful intercourse, one can use a water-based lubricant for smooth intercourse. A good water-based lube will give enjoyable and memorable sex with your partner without any friction.

3. THICK HYMEN
Some women have a hymen that is not easily penetrated or stretched, which can cause to be painful intercourse or no intercourse at all. However, it is rare to have a thick hymen, but sometimes a physician may need to stretch particularly a thick hymen that may cause pain.

How To Fix It
Well, there is an option to go under the knife where the doctor shall make a small cut in the hymen to remove the extra tissue and create a normal-sized opening for the vagina. Also, if there’s old menstrual blood stuck in the vagina, the doctor shall remove that as well. But it is always scary to go under the knife and spending lakhs of rupees for it, which is why we suggest a better way to get rid of the thick tissues. Use of sex toys like dildo, glass wand or kegel gives a push and stretches the extra tissues to open your vagina wide enough. In the start, you might find it difficult to insert it, but a daily practice of using it can help the thick hymen to stretch apart.

4. INABILITY TO BE AROUSED
Sexual arousal disorder is a lack or absence of sexual fantasies (both in male & female) where one might not feel the desire for sexual activity. It can also be the inability to achieve or have expected responses to sexual arousal.

How To Fix It
Arousal oil, cream or spray are very helpful if a woman finds it difficult to feel aroused. Using it while masturbating or getting it massaged by your partner on your private parts can make you feel even warmer. One can also buy a ‘ pleasure kit for women’ to pamper herself.

5. LACK OF ORGASM
It is the inability to achieve sexual climax, which includes having unsatisfying orgasms and taking longer than normal to reach the climax. Women with lack of orgasm may find it difficult to achieve orgasm during sexual intercourse or masturbation.

How To Fix It
One can use clitoral sex toys, lubricants or arousal oils that warm the clitoris and helps in increasing the stimulation. Apart from that, you can also go for a couples counseling session. A counselor will help you and your partner to work through any arguments or disputes you may have, which can help in resolving the issues that are occurring both in the relationship and in the bedroom.

6. VAGINAL DRYNESS
It is a common symptom of menopause. Vaginal dryness is often due to the drop in estrogen levels. As it goes down the lining of their vaginas become thinner, drier, less elastic, and turns blue from light pink.

How To Fix It
There are many different treatment options for vaginal dryness. One can use water-based or silicone-based lubricants to hydrate the dry skin of the vagina. It can also help you in having smooth intercourse with your partner. Other than that, having sex with your partner regularly can also reduce the dryness. It is also said that many-body products and personal hygiene products contain fragrances and dyes that can irritate or dry out the vaginal tissue. One must use soft and odorless products especially if you have sensitive skin. Include the foods that contain phytoestrogens that act similarly to estrogen in the body. They are found in plant-based foods, including soy, nuts, seeds, and tofu. Avoid wearing underwear of synthetic material, rather prefer a cotton-based one which allows your vagina to breathe.

We hope these solutions can help you come out of sexless marriage. However, to know more about the products mentioned as the solutions for the sexual dysfunctions, click on the respective links and explore the suggested products at ThatsPersonal.com.

If you are in an Unconsummated marriage – no sex life since Day 1 of marriage, then we suggest you read our detailed articles on Causes of Unconsummated marriage and Treatment for it.

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