6 Reasons Why Foreplay is Important for Great SexAurumie Baubo Dec 9 2019 at 3:46 PM
When you go to the gym, what’s the first instruction you get from the trainer? Warmup. Warmup. Warmup.
You don’t jump into doing heavy weight lifting? You start with light exercises that put your cardiovascular system into gear and prepares it for more intense physical activity. If you begin with some heavy exercises right away, most often than not, you will end up hurting yourself.
Foreplay is that warmup. Well not exactly. It’s more fun surely. But you get the drift. In simple terms, it puts the body in the mood to expect some hot and heavy fun – for sex. Essentially, the body begins to get excited and sexually aroused. The vagina begins to get lubricated and the penis begins to get erect. During foreplay, other parts of the body change – nipples become more erect, breasts increase in size and the clitoris begins to swell too. With more sexual stimulation, vaginal lubrication increases and the penis hardens further. The heart rate increases and the body begins to spasm. All finally culminating into sexual intercourse and for many, an orgasm too.
For women, foreplay is the groundwork men must do. Sexual stimulation increases the length of the vaginal canal, which makes penetration easier. As such it’s in the interest of men to invest more time arousing his mate. Foreplay also releases the love hormone called oxytocin in men and women. It increases the male erection and helps the couple bond and build a feeling of love and attachment, which leads to higher sexual arousal.
SLOW AND STEADY DOES WIN THE RACE
While one can surely do a ‘done in 60 seconds’, speed does not augur well – either for the man or the woman, in matters of sex. It’s like this. If you start a meal together, you must finish together. Get the metaphor? Many would consider sex to be the main course. But that would be far off base. Foreplay is like an appetizer. And sometimes appetizers can be better than the main course. So, take it slow and spend time getting to know your partner’s body. The more you touch and cuddle, the more oxytocin and dopamine is released, which can increase the intensity of your orgasm.
BROADEN YOUR HORIZON
The fun in foreplay is that couples can explore things beyond the final act of penetration. It can open up a whole new world. There is nothing written in stone as to what constitutes foreplay. But the idea is to excite the mind and body. Licking, touching, cuddling, finger play, oral sex all can constitute part of foreplay. If there are ideas that excite you as a couple – sexting, a body massage, phone sex, a make-out session in a pubic area, it’s worth trying out simply to get the juices roaring.
ADD SOME SEXUAL BLING
Sexy clothing can increase the visual sexual appeal and hence arousal. Lacy lingerie, thongs, bikinis are available for women and men which can tantalize the mind. You add more fun things to your sexual repertoire. There is edible lingerie that you can eat from your partner. Massage your partner’s body – from chest to crotch and further down with massage oils. These come in varied flavors – caramel, strawberry, chocolate and vanilla that you can lick of your partner. There’s more – body butter, lip balms that add that extra buzz to your lips and make them tingle, glow in the dark love rings for men to be put on an erect penis that can surely delight the senses. If your mind is open, there are so many kinky things that you can experiment with. One last thing, add a vibrator and some sex toys to your twosome. It will be a whole new world of fun.
LEARN TO EXPRESS WHAT YOU WANT
Your mate is not a mind reader. Shyness in sex is one important area that couples need to work on. If you like your mate to do something that you like, tell him or her. There is nothing wrong with directing your partner to touch you in areas that arouse you. Communicating with your partner during foreplay can help do away with a lot of misdirections and fumbling. The mind has a habit of multi-tasking. So make an effort to focus on what your partner is doing and give the necessary guidance. The best thing when getting down and dirty? Talk to each other.
DON’T GO FOR THE JUGULAR
The vagina and penis aren’t the only things that are sexual. There are many erogenous areas on a body that can arouse your partner – find them slowly – nipples, breasts, neck, ears, thighs, back area and pay attention to them. The more every part tingles with sexual vibration, the stronger will be your orgasm.
If you compare your game-play with how men and women behave in porn movies or in movies generally, you will be very disappointed. What you see is a performance that is scripted and enacted in front of hundreds of people. So you need to have realistic benchmarks on what works for you. Get inspired by everything, but do not try and mimic it. It may lead to disappointments. Also, if you expect your partner to give you explosive arousal every time, you may be silently putting a lot of pressure on performance and will burst the balloon before it flies sky high. So keep things real and learn to enjoy them as they happen. Encourage for more, but don’t be disappointed with less.
There is no science to foreplay. At times your foreplay can be for a few minutes or a few hours or for a few days even when you aim to build-up the sexual tempo. Nothing is off-limits. It depends on what works for you. The best thing you can do is treat it as if you would plan a holiday – do your research, understand the nitty-gritty of things, share it with your partner, talk, discuss how you would do it, etc. That will get you into the grove. The goal is to have fun with each other and not just focus on sexual intercourse. So what will you be doing tonight? Give it a thought!