Time for women to get Orgasms on their ownAurumie Baubo Nov 20 2019 at 8:26 AM
Watching a sizzling dance between Bollywood’s hot young couple on the television, Aruna began to fidget with the pillow next to her. Her breath became shallow, slow and she could hear her heartbeat go thump, thump, thump. The chemistry on the screen between the couple looked like soft porn to her. Aruna shoves the pillow between her thighs and then tightens them together to stem the flow of excitement that begins to overwhelm her. She texts Varun, her boyfriend, at work, “Baby am feeling so horny, come home soon’’. (It was at 3.30 pm).
It has been 6 hours and she is still alone. The bell rings and Varun seems to be drowning in travel sweat. His body slumps loudly on the couch. “What a shitty day’’, he growls and continues to rant about his boss. She looks at him and swallows hard. Varun was in no mood to have sex. Her orgasm will have to wait.
There are millions of Arunas, single and married, who wait for their mates to give them the sexual release they need. For many women its unimaginable that they can orgasm without male input. In India, sex itself is thought to be used for reproduction, not as a tool for pleasure or stress management. That line of thinking is reserved for the men. In a society that fouls women when they do things for themselves, for their desires and for their ambitions, can women even begin to seek pleasure for themselves or without their mates?
Apparently yes, many studies in India show, how women masturbate to their orgasms. Many every day. Don’t be shocked! What is masturbation really? It’s to stimulate one’s genital to sexual arousal and then an orgasm. Women use multiple means to arouse themselves. Fingers are one of the simplest and fastest tools to stimulate the vagina and hand out oneself an orgasm. They know where to go, what to touch and boom you are there.
Many use ordinary household items as well to mimic the penis or the sexual friction that the man’s body would provide – a pillow, a toothbrush, the seat on a chair, a bottle, the hand spray and yes vegetables too. Whatever the mind can imagine can be used for self-pleasure. How safe are these? Using vegetables, for example, as a sexual tool is very common. One can use a banana, cucumber, radish or carrot, anything elongated for self penetration. While it can feel good there is a serious chance of contracting the infections. Many women realize this downside and have begun to use more mechanized tools for self-pleasuring – vibrators.
Technological evolution has made the art of self-pleasure even more efficient and effective. There are all kinds of vibrators and sex toys available in the market that can be safely used to masturbate. While society considers the idea of self-pleasuring taboo for women, market statistics prove otherwise. The sexual wellness market in India is Rs 2500-3000 crore and almost 40 percent of its customers are women. To think that women don’t think about sex is a misnomer. To think they don’t masturbate and buy sexual tools for self-pleasure would be even a greater fallacy. With e-commerce booming and becoming safer by the day, women have access to a greater variety of sexual tools that they can use for themselves.
The advantage that women have when it comes to masturbation is that they can do it anywhere. And you don’t even need your fingers or any external tools to get you to your release. A large section of women uses their imagination to get their juices flowing. Men need to remember this. For many women, stimulating the mind sexually can lead up to really great sex. Masturbating for women need not be a noisy affair. At work, a sexual thought can strike a woman at any time. One can quietly rub her clitoris against the seat of the chair and stimulate it to give herself a sexual release. It can be as simple as this. And yes women do this!
Why shouldn’t women masturbate? Apart from the fact that it feels great, masturbation is a great way to relieve stress and sexual tension. And yes one does sleep well even after a self-created orgasm.
Do Indian girls Masturbate? Find Out
While many women are comfortable with their sexual needs – that it’s ok to want sex and initiate it even, and if there isn’t a mate around, to self-pleasure, many women still consider the idea of going solo to be a strict no-no. Be it social conditioning or sexual conservatism or simply lack of knowledge on how to masturbate. Body positivity is also a necessary condition to want to masturbate. How many women have seen their vagina or think it’s beautiful and deserves the same love and attention as our skin does?
In the last few years, television content such as Sex and City and movies like Lipstick Under My Burkha, Lust Stories, Veere De Wedding have freely explored the idea of masturbation. After the scene in Lust Stories of Kiara Advani using a remote-controlled vibrator as she was unhappy with her sex life went viral, Indian women kept buzzing the search engine searching for sex toys, vibrators, dildos. As per ThatsPersonal, their traffic went up by a bizarre 170% and sale of sex toys including vibrators sore by 52%. The clip was able to connect to women all over India and invoked the hidden feeling of pleasure on their own terms in most of them. That was a revolution for Self Pleasure in itself. Thus with more influencing content and social discussions, women have begun to take charge of their orgasms. And with that a part of their life at least. And that deserves to be celebrated.